There is something about a rebel that is attractive and alluring. Is it her power? Her confidence? Her unshakable attitude? Maybe all three! I reveled in rebellion. I loved feeling unstoppable and on top of my world. I could go anywhere and do anything; and I knew all the tricks to not get caught. Nothing would break me, or so I thought.
I gave my life to the Lord in my 20's. What I didn’t realize was that for me, my rebellious spirit didn’t go away after giving my life to Jesus. In fact, I didn’t even know I had one! Proverbs 5:6 says, “For she cares nothing about the path to life. She staggers down a crooked trail and doesn’t realize it.” Rebellion hides, festers, and decays your moral ground until gradually it ruins you completely.
So how could someone like me come to escape impending doomsday? Why on earth would I come into willful submission to God’s perfect law? I was a rule breaker. But now, I am completely addicted to being a doer of God’s word. What gave me the breath of life I needed to change?
The first change came when I gave my life to the Lord. I saw his perfect grace and love for me, and said yes! Then He gave me this crazy idea to get married! I can honestly say I was not marriage material! Marriage was no cakewalk. I was crazy in love and fiercely loyal, but my rebellious spirit consumed every good thing. I began loving my power more than my spouse. Submission was a loathed and foreign term. I chose me, more than I chose him. I also struggled with a negative mindset until finally both took their toll on our relationship.
One day in prayer, I found myself looking deep into my own darkness. There was no end to it. Blinded, I groped the floor for my soul. I was in pieces. My sin had finally caught up to me and I was lost. I cried out to God for help, as sincerely as I could. To my surprise, God gave me my greatest blessing – the gift of Faith! This was the missing link I had needed to start my journey of real faith.
One of my favorite passages of scripture reads, “He has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of His beloved Son” (Col. 1:13, NLT). Rebellion led me to a life filled with darkness. But the Grace of God rescued me and guided me into the eternal kingdom of Jesus Christ! Everyone has the opportunity to turn from her dark ways and seek the light. God meets us with outstretched arms no matter how rebellious we’ve been and He blesses us in our brokenness! We serve an amazing God, ladies!