I Want More

By Jennifer Lee Smith    www.jenniferleesmith.com
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Have you seen the AT&T commercial where the cute little girl makes us laugh with her line about how “if you like it, you want more”? That was totally me. Actually, I think we all “want more.” People are born to be passionate worshipers, but what we worship makes all the difference. For years, I lived as a prodigal—passionately seeking the wrong things, having experiences that only temporarily satisfied me. But I always wanted more. In trying to fill the void, I went from being a recreational drug and alcohol user (for 13 years) to a daily user of methamphetamine (for another 6 years).

“For my people have done two evil things: They have abandoned me—the fountain of living water. And they have dug for themselves cracked cisterns that can hold no water at all!” Jeremiah 2:13

For the last 4 years of my drug addiction, I regularly cried out for the Lord to deliver me. While it was a process, the Lord did not waste one iota of that time. As promised in Romans 8:28, He worked all things together for my good. I grew in the grace and knowledge of Jesus as my Lord and Savior, and during that time He changed me from the inside out and brought deep healing. Here are some of the radical truths that helped me:

1. True, satisfying pleasure, joy, peace and love are found in Jesus alone and are a natural by-product of a healthy, intimate relationship with God. Drugs have nothing on this and when we are satisfied in Him, our desires change! (Psalm 16:11, Galatians 5:22)
2. Instead of diligently seeking the drug, use that same tenacity, passion and diligence to seek after God. When you have a desire to seek Him, it’s a response to the Good Shepherd's loving pursuit of you. He won’t reject a broken heart and contrite spirit. (Hebrews 11:6, Matthew 18:12, Psalm 51:17)
3. You’ve got to know who you are in Christ, reject the world’s view and Satan’s lies. Believing as the world believes that alcoholism is a disease, or “once an addict, always an addict,” will only keep you in bondage. The truth will set you free. When we are in Christ, we are new creations, old things have passed away! (John 8:32, John 8:36, 2 Corinthians 5:17)
4. It’s not about will power; it’s about His power. (Philippians 2:13, Zechariah 4:6, Ephesians 3:20)
5. It’s not about making yourself acceptable to Him or about your performance; it’s about your faith in Him and what He did for you on the cross that results in changed actions. Our faith is pleasing to Him. You can come boldly to the throne of grace to receive grace and mercy because of the righteousness of Jesus (James 2:17, Ephesians 2:10, Hebrews 11:6, Hebrews 4:16, 2 Corinthians 5:21)
6. Trust Him and take the step of obedience motivated by love. And we love him because He first loved us. If we love him, we’ll obey and He will reveal Himself to us! (1 John 4:19, John 14:21)
7. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. (Psalm 37:4)

CS Lewis summed it up: “If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised…, it would seem that Our Lord finds our desire not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, we are like ignorant children who want to continue making mud pies in a slum because we cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a vacation at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.”

14 years later one thing hasn’t changed: I still want more. But by His grace, I just want more of God.